Ideal for those who still obsessively play every Mario Kart game

Want a 3DS? Want an early copy of the new Mario Kart? Want some validation for those hundreds of hours you sunk into every iteration of Mario Kart (I sure bloody do)?! Well, look no further, Nintendo has devised a fiendishly obtuse or awesome (depending on how you look at it) to make all your dreams come true.

The Mario Kart Heptathlon, awesome as it is, is only running in Melbourne on the 5th of November. Sorry to disappoint almost everyone, but for the rest of you glorious shufflers, lets take a look at what’s going to go down on the 5th. You’ll have a single go on a single course for each of the seven games, which will all be recorded and added together. Prizes will go to the fastest combined time in both over and under 12 categories.

In all the games you’ll have to play as Mario using a standard kart, while the only map being used is Mario Circuit. What is nice is that you can use a cube controller for Mario Kart Wii and Super Circuit, which will make practicing a hell of a lot easier. The competition is limited to the first 150 people who show up to the Swantston St EB Games, with the event officially starting at 10AM. Who knows when you’ll have to start queuing to get into that 150 though, if you have to at all.

Reminder: Saturday November 5th, Swanston St EB Games, Melbourne. 150 Places.

I’d hate to send any of you to the wrong place. I’m pretty tempted to show up myself, even though I’ve never played Double Dash in my life. I just want to school everyone in 64...

Full details on Nintendo’s website.